Bubble Wrap - Written March 27, 2025 - Published March 30,2025

Bubble Wrap

Written by Wanda Rodriguez

Written March 27, 2025

Published March 30, 2025

I fell in love with my college sweetheart.  We had the pleasure of being married for over thirty years (longest, craziest & most rewarding rollercoaster ever!!!)  before he succumbed to glioblastoma (brain cancer), having lost his battle of two and a half years.  Though I knew the day was coming, it was one of the hardest, saddest, loneliest (even though I was surrounded by loved ones) moments in my life.  It has been an interesting/challenging year of growth, discovery and fellowship, personally and spiritually.  I would like to open here with a moment of gratitude.  Though I, along with my family and friends, suffered a tremendous loss, I have been able to continue on, one step at a time.  I can not say it has all been enjoyable or easy, but it has become gradually more bearable.  At no point in my journey did I ever feel completely alone or abandoned.  This is not to say that I didn’t hurt, ache, cry, dance alone (or with a handy squishmellow or child/grandchild), want to dive under my desk to hide from the world, or passive/aggressively avoid things that I didn’t have the fortitude to deal with.  Believe me, I did all of that, and then some! It is, however, safe to say that I never felt truly alone, even on occasions spent isolated in my room. 

It was like my body, my mind, my heart, my soul, my family, my peace, my joy … were wrapped tightly in layers and layers of “bubble wrap” that provided protection.  Each layer of the wrap was infused with God’s love and grace, without which I would have been lost.  

The layers were also made up of other things like: 

   those covering us in prayer (friends, family, strangers …); 

   those supporting us through our immediate needs (getting organized, finding passwords, getting a handle on bills and finances   

   and helping to bridge gaps therein …); 

   those who who kept our bodies nourished (through food, gift cards …); 

   those who were there to sit with me and share love, laughter, tears and silence (tequila -  haha);

   those who took the time to call, text, write letters and/or send cards; 

   those who sent me funny and/or encouraging memes and reels to warm my heart or make me smile (or both!!);

   those who encouraged me to get out and try new things and to be around people rather than just home in my thoughts and in

   my grief; 

   those who encouraged me to write and to share my journey with others and those who continue to provide ongoing support 

   through the process; 

   those who took the time to walk with me through expressions of creativity in my pain (painting, stained glass, writing …); 

   those who just made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry; 

   those who shared random acts of kindness like a smile, a well timed message, or a passing hug (little things can mean so much!);  

   those I have been blessed to get to know on a much deeper level through bible studies, fellowship and similar circumstances

   of loss.  

    …

The layers of protection go on and on, and for this I am eternally grateful.  Though I am sometimes weak, I have been able to remain upright (mostly) because of God’s endless love and through the ongoing support, love and lifting up by these wonderful people.  Even when I feel as if my legs are going to give way beneath me from the pressure, I feel protected as there are so many in place to help hold me up.  Even if I go down (which, as we know, has precedence!!! - think “tailspin”), I do not go down alone or as hard as I might otherwise, and the support enables me to bounce back up.  It makes me think of the Christmas classic, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, when the Yukon Cornelius declares, “Bumbles Bounce!”  It turns out, so do Wandas who are wrapped in healing, supportive bubble wrap!  (Haha! I can see it in my mind’s eye And it makes me think of the year we got James bubble wrap for Christmas as he had a penchant for concussions while playing hockey.  

As mentioned, yesterday marked the one year anniversary of Dave’s passing.  I was not sure what to expect as the day loomed large overhead.  Would I be happy, basking in the multitude of joyful memories? Would I be reduced to a weeping puddle of endless emotions on the floor? Would I revisit, repeat and rapid fire through the stages of death and dying like a Vegas Blackjack dealer who had too much caffeine? Would I wallow in self-pity, consumed by regret about all the things not done, or said, or of my many perceived failings? Would I retreat to a day of nothingness and Netflix?  … Would I even be able to hold my head up … 

Anniversaries like this are a very unique and personal experience.  How you choose to approach and move through such experiences is 100% personal.  Do what is best for you and your peace/healing.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve, never let anyone tell you otherwise.  I chose to go on about my day as if it were a normal day, like any other. I woke up with prayer and gratitude, I made my Wednesday blog post, I went to the gym, I went to my women’s bible study, I went to the grocery store, I spent time with friends and family, I went to see a movie, I had some reflective and down/alone time, I closed out in prayer and gratitude.  It was not the emotional rollercoaster that I had feared.  Truth be told, the day after was more challenging because it reminded me of the time following Dave’s celebration of life when everyone flowed naturally back into their normal routines but my normal was forever changed. I wasn’t sad the day after as much as I relented to sharing my personal space with an air of melancholy that wasn’t present the day before.  

I was able to stay upright on both days, and all the glory on that front goes to God.  Thank you for helping to keep me wrapped tight and secure in my protective “bubble wrap.”  Your love, support and encouragement lifted me up so high that it’s like I was able to  “crowd surf” through the day.  

Bible Verses that came to mind while writing this:

Matthew 5:4 ‭ESV‬‬

““Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

Psalm‬ ‭34‬:‭18‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭61‬:‭3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.”